Another Damn Dinner Date
Dating. Nobody really likes dating. It's awkward. It's time consuming. It's fake.
As I sat in a room full of the sales leadership team of a pest control company, I kept asking myself why I was there. Evan had asked me to go with him. He was in his element! There was about 100 sales bros there. All throughout the night they were either eating, measuring each other's biceps, comparing gym memberships, or talking about how they were going to be the next CEO of the best start up this country has ever seen. "Way bigger than Vivint and Moxie combined."
As the rolls were set on the table everyone started discussing how many carbs they are giving themselves each day in order to measure up to the ratio of protein supplements they take before and after their workouts (Apparently VASA is having a huge protein powder sale right now). Ed was loving that conversation. I wanted to dart out of that room so fast. Luckily everyone was too busy talking about the fat/calories in butter to notice me avoiding the rolls like the plague. There was one other woman at my table. She said her salad had to much vinaigrette on it so she had 3 rolls instead....I ate two bites of the salad and waited for the waiter to take it away, praying nobody would notice how little I ate. Time passed and then the dreaded main meal came. Everyone was trying everyone's food. We had picked from 4 different meals- salmon, pasta, steak, chicken. I went for the salmon. It felt the safest. Throughout the whole meal I resisted drinking water so that my stomach wouldn't expand. I cut my food into TINY bites so that I could move it around my plate making it look like I ate more than I did. Everyone else was enjoying themselves so much. Meanwhile, I was getting ready to scream....more time passed. The white elephant and gym gossip continued. Then the dessert came. The waiters forgot mine and I was thrilled. 10 minutes later here comes a huge piece of lemon cake. I took two bites and then made sure that everyone else at my table got to try it. I purposefully picked the dessert that nobody else did so that everyone would need to try mine.
I got home feeling like a mix of a overstuffed teddy bear and a deflated balloon. Dating is exhausting. My mind goes a million miles an hour every time I am informed that my date is going to feed me. I spend my entire day strategically justifying skipping parts of my food plan so that I would be ready for dinner. It didn't help. I still simple feel defeated. All I want to do it go for a 10 mile run and fast for the next 4 days.
When will this whole dating game be over? Where's the prince charming that people keep promising me? Is he waiting for ED to leave before he's going to show up?
As I sat in a room full of the sales leadership team of a pest control company, I kept asking myself why I was there. Evan had asked me to go with him. He was in his element! There was about 100 sales bros there. All throughout the night they were either eating, measuring each other's biceps, comparing gym memberships, or talking about how they were going to be the next CEO of the best start up this country has ever seen. "Way bigger than Vivint and Moxie combined."
As the rolls were set on the table everyone started discussing how many carbs they are giving themselves each day in order to measure up to the ratio of protein supplements they take before and after their workouts (Apparently VASA is having a huge protein powder sale right now). Ed was loving that conversation. I wanted to dart out of that room so fast. Luckily everyone was too busy talking about the fat/calories in butter to notice me avoiding the rolls like the plague. There was one other woman at my table. She said her salad had to much vinaigrette on it so she had 3 rolls instead....I ate two bites of the salad and waited for the waiter to take it away, praying nobody would notice how little I ate. Time passed and then the dreaded main meal came. Everyone was trying everyone's food. We had picked from 4 different meals- salmon, pasta, steak, chicken. I went for the salmon. It felt the safest. Throughout the whole meal I resisted drinking water so that my stomach wouldn't expand. I cut my food into TINY bites so that I could move it around my plate making it look like I ate more than I did. Everyone else was enjoying themselves so much. Meanwhile, I was getting ready to scream....more time passed. The white elephant and gym gossip continued. Then the dessert came. The waiters forgot mine and I was thrilled. 10 minutes later here comes a huge piece of lemon cake. I took two bites and then made sure that everyone else at my table got to try it. I purposefully picked the dessert that nobody else did so that everyone would need to try mine.
I got home feeling like a mix of a overstuffed teddy bear and a deflated balloon. Dating is exhausting. My mind goes a million miles an hour every time I am informed that my date is going to feed me. I spend my entire day strategically justifying skipping parts of my food plan so that I would be ready for dinner. It didn't help. I still simple feel defeated. All I want to do it go for a 10 mile run and fast for the next 4 days.
When will this whole dating game be over? Where's the prince charming that people keep promising me? Is he waiting for ED to leave before he's going to show up?
Comments
Post a Comment