Exposure Therapy

We are on day 4 of exposure therapy. It's probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. My dietician made a detailed menu that I'll be following for the next six weeks. The idea is that being exposed to your fears consistently for 6 weeks will help overcome the fear and then I'll be "normal". I have family and friends that are going to be eating every meal and snack with me to ensure I keep to the plan. The first few days were hard. I'm horrified for what's going to happen when I'm back to school and work.

This process has taught me something huge. I get to choose how much support I have. My friends and family have been my life support. My family watched me cry over spaghetti while my friends picked out pump up songs for each meat ball. When we went to therapy together, the therapist asked what I do for stress relief. Everyone in the room knew my answer was going to be exercise. That's partly true. I have found my next best bet to getting a smile on my face is playing with my two nieces.

They have been my stress relief this Christmas. I love them with all my heart. They are my motivation. they are the reason I could eat a sandwich yesterday. I want to be a mom so badly. I want to spoil girls on Christmas morning. I want my own little family to love and adore. I've spent so much time with my mom this week. She's done everything for me. She's taught me how to be a mom. I want to be just like her. I can't wait to be healthy and have that one day. 

This week I've also been trying to learn the difference between my friends supporting me and my friends babysitting me.  Just last night I was telling Tiff how going to Provo is going to make it harder. Two seconds later I get a text from Joe letting me know that he'll be in Provo all next week with nothing to do. HOW DID HE DO THAT!?!?!?! I feel beyond blessed. This six weeks are going to be hard but it's 8000984939 times easier thanks to the awesome cheer leaders.