Trudging along

I feel like I only write on this blog about the hard stuff. I promise good stuff does happen to me! I do have awesome friends and I love my family to death. Just last Thursday I got to hang out with my mom. It was a much needed girls night. I loved every second of being with her. It's been hard to open up to my family lately so having that time for my mom where it was all about us was really cool.

This week has been one of the hardest weeks in a long time. I have no motivation. None to study, be social, even show up to work, and you better believe eating is on the last of my list. I've been isolating myself big time and I don't remember feeling this unhappy in a really long time. It started Monday afternoon. When I was at work, wondering around the women's fashion section of the BYU bookstore, putting away returns and steaming clothes, I just decided that I didn't want to be around people and that I was sad. I didn't have a reason. Just didn't have the energy to pretend to be happy. I went home for the night. Tuesday- it was easy to stay busy enough to not have to be around people. Wednesday- Pretty much the same. I just want to run away to Chicago. My dad and I are going next week. That plane can't come soon enough. It's hard to explain. I just have no desire. I don't know how to be happy. I don't know how to let myself be proud of where I'm at. It's just so so hard.